Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Almost Nothing is Absolutely Marvelous

Galpão, a huge delicious looking chocolate cake is being cut. A set of hands scoop it up and put it on a plate where another piece is already waiting. I have just started seconds ago and I already feel like taking a break and going to my fridge to see what’s in there. Good start. Luckily, the camera zooms out and we see Clara, which is enough to keep me in my seat. Clara starts babbling to Verônica about that musician guy that was hitting on her, how she thought they would get involved. Verônica is all ‘Yeah, no.’ Clara replies that he was so gentle, so into her, what more do you want and more of that. But Verônica was in that place where we have all found ourselves in at times, which is that they seem like the perfect partner, but you’re just not feeling it. By the way, I find that frustrating as hell when that happens, because if they seem like the perfect partner, wouldn't it be so much easier if you were feeling it? Anyway. So, Verônica says she wants to be excited, she wants butterflies, but since she had none of those, she totally friend zoned him.

Clara brings up Marina without bringing up Marina and asks her ‘What about the opposite? When the least expected person shows up like a hurricane, turns everything upside down and puts everything on the line?’ Verônica knows she’s talking about Marina because Verônica has eyes and asks if that’s what happened to Clara. First Clara is all ‘Who, me?’ and sort of surprised that she’s is totally aware of this, but when Verônica excuses herself and claims it’s none of her business, Clara decides that confirming it to one more person isn’t going to matter anyway because so many know already and that it makes sense she knows since lately the Galpão has been their location of choice to engage in their hand holding, hand kissing and eye-sexing activities. She answers that it’s alright and that since they both work there all day, it’s logical she noticed their totally couply behavior.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Eyes Full of Finally, by Colette - First Kiss ATC English Fanfic Challenge

Eyes Full of Finally
by Colette

She hadn't seen this coming. She was standing just there where the road started to make a slight curve, she could see a large part of the house from here, but some trees made sure she was out of view from whoever was inside and happened to be looking out the window. The first steps towards the house had been determined, confident, but she found herself slowing down and now standing still, needing some unexpected extra time to process why she was actually here. What she was about to do.

It wasn't like she had no clue before, of course. She knew exactly why she was here. She'd known while making sure Ivan had his bag packed with all the right clothes and his toothbrush, she'd known when she heard him call her with a raised voice because he had been calling her three times already. But she was staring out the window, her thoughts elsewhere, before her son's voice brought her back. When she drove Ivan to the house where the sleepover was, she'd known even better because after dropping Ivan off she knew very well where she was going next.

Her heart had skipped a few beats when Ivan mentioned two days ago that he wouldn't be home that night. She had been unable to keep her thoughts from drifting off ever since. She hadn't seen Marina since that day in the Galpão, the only contact they had been having was that email, phone calls, whispered declarations of how much they missed each other, how much they wished they could be in each others arms right now, bathing in each other's scent, how much they missed feeling their fingers entwined, but they hadn't been able to make those desires a reality yet.

The Storm, by TZ - First Kiss ATC English Fanfic Challenge

The Storm

“So, it’s done then?”

Clara looked aside to her aunt. “Yes,” she quietly replied, displaying the paperwork she had been staring at. All of the details were in black and white.

Juliana reached across to clasp Clara’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Neatly folding the sheets of paper as if they were the linen on her bed, Clara replied, “I’m not sure, Ju.” She took a sip of coconut water and contemplated the gentle waves that brushed the shore. “He was so calm.”

After looking at the bright blue sky, Juliana retrieved car keys from her bag. “We should probably head back. We are expecting a storm and that little car of mine will never make it once the rain starts falling.

Clara glanced at the sky then at the waves once more. “Ivan’s with Chica, so you can just take me there.”

On the way to the apartment, the women were silent until Juliana asked, “Did you ever experiment with Marina?”

Her head whipping to her left, Clara frowned. “No, I couldn’t. I was married.”

“You’re not now,” Ju said as she turned left instead of the expected right. “We are going to the studio,” she said, explaining her actions.

Full Moon, by BecomingLight - First Kiss ATC English Fanfic Challenge

Full Moon
by BecomingLight

This time has been very good to understand who I am for real. And when I fell in love with you, Marina, a part of the Clara that I knew died in me. And now with the separation from Cadu the other part of Clara is taking its leave. I'm full of certainty without being certain and you know what? That is good! Do I sound crazy? But I've never been so clear. Finally I have begun to understand that I am the owner of my own story. Damn, what a responsibility! I can't run away and I don't have the right to do that to myself so the time has come to transform all the fear because without love, nothing is worthwhile, right? Nothing.

I'm sitting on the beach and it's dark. I'm cold and I've been here for far too long, I know I should return home but I don't instead I'm staring up at the moon that rose above the horizon at dusk, pulling away from the horizon as the sun set. It's full, shining it's silver light across the dark skies. I close my eyes and breath in the salty tang of the ocean, listen to the waves crashing, I listen to the beat of my heart in my chest. I do all these things to try and calm my mind.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

When they finally said 'I do', a fandom whispered 'I do too' and hoped history was paying attention

So... The show is really over! No more new scenes, ever. We've got to work with what we've got, so that's exactly what we'll do, cause there is much to discuss. Also much fanfiction to fill the gaps with of course. So yeah, Em Família has broadcasted its final episode. The show is over, the ladies ended up together, it's been one hell of a ride, for sure. If not for you, well then, for me it has been anyway.

I've never really been part of a fandom before. Sure, I've followed some ships on Youtube, or watched the eps as they came out on television, but I've never been so actively involved. Part of that was of course because I fell in love with the ship of unbelievable chemistry and unworldly gorgeousness, but another huge part of that has been cause of the other girls I have come to know throughout this journey. This has been an amazing experience and you guys made that possible. Thank you my lublings, you know who you are.

Also, I am planning to continue this blog, I have much to write about still, I don't intend to stop, so I guess as long as people keep reading, I'll keep updating. Before we get all sentimental on each other though, we've had some happenings in the last weeks of the show that I just have to get into, so let's get to it, right after I apologize for taking so long with this update and for the record amount of gifs I included in it, in particular near the end. Anyway...

Sometimes stuff happens, stuff that makes you happy and sad at the same time. Or mush on the inside and at the same time you are fuming. Maybe giggling cause of the cuteness but kind of embarrassed too. I've been feeling a lot of that lately. Cause while we had amazing things happen in the last week of Em Clarina, things also happened that made me cry on the inside a little. I'll go over them with you of course, but I'm not sure yet if I want to list all the good stuff first or start with all the stupid stuff, or if maybe I should alternate a little.

Sunday, August 03, 2014

Clarina Fanfic Challenge: First Kiss

Hello girls!

I hope you all enjoyed my views on the wedding night that I wrote about in my previous post. I promised you a post about the wedding itself as well, which is close to being finished, but first I got something else. No elaborate scene analysis this time, no character profiling, no diagnosing anyone with being overly obsessive, no. This time it’s about fanfiction!

Looking at the Clarina fanfiction on the internet, there is an abundance of it in Portuguese, but not so much in English. I have some listed on my blog but it’s not a very long list so far. This is of course something that totally needs a fix because there are many international fans that would love to read fanfiction but simply don’t understand enough Portuguese to be able to follow it. I know a lot of people that have said they are thinking about writing something, myself included, but they haven’t gotten to it yet. In the meantime, we’re still painfully lacking those fics in English, so we need a way to get those writers to start writing.

Conclusion: We need an English Clarina fanfic challenge.

Could be a nice way to get things started. The subject is simple. We all dislike the fact that they decided to take a time machine and deprive us of the joy of seeing how our girls got together, so I think it’s only fair we get to imagine it ourselves. There’s your subject right there.

Write your version of the first kiss between Clara and Marina.
(which may or may not include the first time they have make love, that’s up to you)

For this particular challenge I’m going to set some limitations that every writer has to stick to. Other than that, write whatever you want and let us enjoy the rest. The period in which the first kiss happens has to fit within the actual story, which means after Cadu tells Clara their marriage is over and after Marina reads Clara's email. If you want to write the first kiss in an alternate universe where they had it before that moment, by all means, go for it, but for this challenge, it has to be canon. That includes their personalities, don’t change who our girls are.

  • Happens after the Marina reads the email.
  • It has to be in English.
  • Try to keep the language semi-decent-ish.
  • Don't write porn.
  • Length of fic is entirely up to you.
  • Enjoy writing it.
  • Let us enjoy reading it.
  • Don't submit stuff that's not yours.

Authors, please submit your fanfic by mailing it with the following subject: ‘Clarina Fanfic Challenge: First Kiss’, to

Do this before the 17th of August. By submitting your fic you give me permission to post it on my blog which I intend to do as they come in, unless you specifically state otherwise. Of course you’re free to post it on whatever other website or fanfic-site you choose, for example

Portuguese writers (or any language), we'd love to have your submissions as well, especially if you have already written it. It would be awesome if you found someone who could translate it for you. The English doesn’t have to be perfect, just a little bit better than what Google translate would make of it, would be nice.

Do you know of an awesome fic that meets these guidelines and just has to be included here? Give the author a poke and point them this way.

I hope many of you will take this challenge, if it is a success, we can do more challenges like it, but let’s first see how this goes. I know there are many talented writers out there and I can’t wait to see all those months that we missed filled up by wonderful stories written by all of us.

Can't wait to see what you all come up with. Let’s get writing!


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Two Weeks Later, the Wedding Night Finally Makes Sense

So, wedding night. I've put it off long enough. Lots has been said about it, twitter has flared up about it, I have not been looking forward to diving into this scene but I felt like I had to. I was reluctant to get into it at first, cause to me the wedding night was disappointing. I am very happy I did it nonetheless, because I saw something. Something that opened my eyes and changed the scene for me kind of radically and while it's perhaps not the wedding night I had in mind, it does give it me a whole other view on it, one I like a lot more than the one I had. In fact, the first half of this post is written before I saw it, so maybe you can even tell by my writing when my opinion started to change. In any case, let's start at the beginning, I hope you join me all the way to the end, because by then the aftertaste of the wedding night just might be a little bit sweeter, just like mine turned out to be.

After the wedding ceremony they do the thing where they throw the flowers carelessly across their shoulders towards a battle ready group of single ladies, where Cadu's harem catches 100% of them. In the next episode, Ivan gives them a cute present, everybody is happy and it's all bliss. Then it's finally time for the long awaited night of love. I'm sorry, the 'night of love'. They arrive at the studio which is all pretty and decorated by Gisele, Flavinha and Vanessa. There is champagne, which prompts the girls to make lovely insinuating winks and suggestive looks at each other which I totally approve of. So far so good.

They take it upstairs, Clara pours herself and her wife (wife!) some champagne while they talk about when they met, how Marina knew instantly, how Clara had no idea what to do with herself and couldn't resist Marina, how far they've come and Clara says how proud she is. As she should be, she has come a long way indeed. Clara says she feels even closer to Marina now that they are official and Marina, who was always the free spirit and never thought about marriage before she descended a certain staircase, says with a voice that is about to crack with emotion that it was the most beautiful wedding she has ever seen. They purr happily at the prospect of having their whole lives ahead of them together, Clara blissfully kisses Marina's fingers with the ring on it before she suggestively says that their night is just starting, because now that Clara has discovered the true meaning of sex since she's been with Marina, turns out she can't get enough of it. Marina does not object and after taking one more sip of her champagne, she puts it down, waits for Clara to have another sip as well and then relieves her of her glass.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Anti-LGBT Violence and Homophobia - A Growing Problem in Brazil

Even though our much loved Clarina storyline is soon coming to an end, the same cannot be said of the homophobia and anti-LGBT violence in Brazil. Feeling the urge to do something, I teamed up with Emily, whom I met through the fandom and we began researching. The result is the letter you will find below. We have contacted several media organizations regarding this issue. At the time of publication, at least one media outlet has picked up on the story and a major LGBT rights organization with global reach is now also following the situation. We hope this letter will raise awareness and you can help by forwarding this letter to any media organization that might be interested in this topic. The letter is available in several languages. Thank you for your help.


Emily & Colette


Anti-LGBT Violence and Homophobia - A Growing Problem in Brazil

Despite being home to one of the world’s largest LGBT pride celebrations and their 2013 legalization of same-sex marriage, Brazil is a country where for too many, prejudice and homophobia are still a painful and dangerous part of everyday life. Even though violence in Brazil has decreased over the past decade, crime against LGBT persons has increased, culminating in reports of 1 LGBT person murdered every 24 hours.”Though Brazil’s government has been making significant efforts to combat racial and LGBT discrimination, reports indicate that anti-LGBT violence continues to escalate and homophobia is still very much alive throughout Brazil even in those pockets of the country where LGBT culture thrives.

Many blame the rampant homophobia on the lack of education and visibility. Like the U.S., powerful conservative political groups and the Evangelical churches often use hateful, anti-gay rhetoric and media influence to incite panic and distrust of the LGBT community among members of society who are largely poor and uneducated. This part of the population is also a stalwart portion of the audience for Brazil’s famous 'novelas'. That makes television a powerful medium for battling homophobia and there is one network in particular that holds most of this power.

Powerhouse Globo

Globo is a media giant. As the world’s second largest television network (by annual revenues) and the largest media group in Latin America, Globo is the most powerful and influential company in Brazil. In comfortable control of almost half the market, Globo has the means at its disposal to change people’s minds and influence the direction in which the country is headed. According to, the size of Globo’s viewership puts it “in a position to exert significant influence on the outcome of national politics.” Because of its vast reach and immense audience, it doesn’t have to answer to anyone.

Globo seemingly understands and embraces its responsibility to educate viewers and acknowledges that television is a medium that can be used to teach a nation. Its own identity statement boasts, ‘throughout the years, TV Globo has discovered ways to entertain, inform and educate’. This accountability would seem to be particularly relevant for the network’s large conservative audience where homophobic opinion still pervades. Now, Globo has a golden opportunity to educate these audience members through its most popular programming – the novela.

Generally, the novela airing at 9pm is considered the most popular and influential, as it gathers the largest audience. Unlike American soap operas, novelas are only scheduled to last a few months. ‘Em Família,’ the current novela which airs at 9pm, began airing in February of this year and will conclude on the 18th of July. This particular novela stands out because it features a prominent lesbian couple – a first for this type of programming on Globo’s network.

The same-sex couple, Clara and Marina, has become the most popular pairing on the show, garnering a worldwide fan base while giving Brazil a realistic representation of a lesbian storyline that is beautiful and intriguing to watch. The coupling also had all the potential to educate people and put homosexuality in a more positive light and Globo pitched it as the ideal vessel for delivering an LGBT-positive message. However, soon after the romance began to develop and play out on the televisions of conservative Brazilian homes, it became clear that Globo would capitulate to prejudice and homophobia by reshaping and desexualizing the storyline.

The Storyline So Far

Loosely based on a real-life love affair, the story of Clara and Marina (‘Clarina’ as nicknamed by the fans) started out promising. Upon first meeting, the chemistry and mutual attraction between married mother Clara and glamorous lesbian photographer Marina was undeniable. Clara’s confusion about falling in love with a woman and her eventual acceptance of her bisexuality, were realistically portrayed and wonderful to watch. Marina realized very early on that Clara was the love of her life. Both women changed each other for the better. Upon meeting Marina, Clara came to realize that she had spent many years living for everyone else instead of herself. She embraced a new outlook on life and redefined her concept of happiness which gained her more confidence and independence. Soon, it became clear that her previous path wouldn’t bring her closer to happiness but that she would, in fact, find it by Marina’s side.

The story taps into the full spectrum of coming out issues including, but not limited to, self-acceptance, faith, divorce, custody and extended families. The lead actresses and entire cast were committed to an honest portrayal and the iconic novella writer, Manoel Carlos, was willing to write a history-making script that would significantly and positively alter perception of same-sex relationships. Instead, Globo has censored this promising story and has taken it down a very disappointing and homophobic path.

How Globo Failed

By casting Giovanna Antonelli as Clara it looked like Globo created the perfect opportunity to teach Brazil what a healthy, same-sex relationship looks like. As one of the most popular and influential actresses in Brazil, she has support all over the country from all layers of the population and in the public’s opinion she can do no wrong. Together with Tainá Müller as Marina, the two have portrayed the process of falling in love with someone of the same gender with beautiful realism and generated a chemistry rarely seen on any television screen, making this story extremely believable and because of that, incredibly relevant. They quickly became more popular than the show’s main couple and seemed destined to become one of the most important and influential LGBT stories. Broadcaster Globo possessed the ideal medium to bring messages straight into conservative living rooms all over the country and had the ideal candidate that could change minds and create a better LGBT environment. Globo chose to waste it.

Kisses and intimate scenes had been scripted by Globo previously, but were ultimately edited out at the last minute or never recorded. According to Forbes, Globo has bowed down to conservative pressures and back-pedaled on decisions to air homosexual content on at least five different occasions. Writers at Globo have even been “verbally warned” not to create gay plotlines. It was only in January of 2014 that Globo aired its first ever same-sex kiss on scripted television. This kiss between two men aired in the very last episode of the series, likely due to fears that an earlier kiss would have led to a boycott, even though the kiss was received very positively. Unfortunately, Globo has chosen the same direction for the Clarina storyline. Tension between the two ladies had become so charged that postponing a kiss was close to ridiculous. Globo, which had previously remained silent on the topic, finally announced that a kiss would be shown; however, it would appear in the final week of the novela. With the end of Clara’s marriage and the freedom to embark on their own relationship, how would Globo avoid airing the climactic first kiss they had been building towards since the first episode? The day Clara’s husband moved out, the show introduced a time skip that pushed all the stories ahead several months. The only storyline radically changed by the time skip was the one between Clara and Marina.

Suddenly, when the caption read ‘months later,’ the two women were already in a relationship, but still shared nothing more than glances, hugs, handholding and after a few weeks a very chaste peck, popular couples continued to share steamy love scenes night after night. The audience is to believe they have kissed and made love, but this occurred off-screen, and viewers wouldn’t be seeing any of it. Even the first kiss, the most important one, viewers can only imagine how amazing it would have been. Globo itself claims there is no taboo, so why does it refuse to show any kind of realistic kiss or love scene between them as though it is a forbidden subject?

Let down by the network are young LGBT Brazilians struggling with questions about their own sexuality. They desperately need someone or something to reassure them of their feelings and to ensure that their sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. By censoring scenes of affection between same-sex couples, Globo sends the message that being gay is shameful and something that deserves to be hidden away from others. Even though Globo proudly claims, “the network allows viewers to see themselves in programming...” it has not represented LGBT characters with equality. “Julio Moreira, president of the gay rights group Arco-Iris, told the Extra newspaper. ‘Gay people have always been portrayed as marginal [characters] or in some negative way.’” Globo treats them as stereotypes and background characters without romance.

Globo’s Motives

So why waste this opportunity to make such a significant change? Like so many television networks - it appears that Globo has succumbed to its fear of losing advertising revenue. The threat of an Evangelical boycott drove the show to decide to air its same-sex kiss between Clara and Marina in one of the very last episodes, safe and risk free. Instead of building on the progress made by the male couple back in January, it fears this female kiss will cost them sponsors and eventually impact profits.

Globo and their sponsors ultimately share responsibility for failing to support accurate portrayals of LGBT people – portrayals that could offer a counter message to the nationwide epidemic of homophobia that torments both young and old struggling with their sexuality. They continue to treat the LGBT community like second-class citizens. Profits are the reason the network and advertisers are choosing to keep prejudice alive. This cannot be allowed.

Our Conclusion

We wanted to call your attention to this story and to this moment in Brazil because we believe the country is on the brink of a breakthrough. The LGBT community continues to fight for equality despite opposition from the powerful Evangelical movement. Globo absolutely has the resources to make a positive difference in the LGBT struggle for full inclusion but it continues to put profits before people.

That’s why an amazing number of people from across the Globe have united to challenge Globo. Thousands of fans have taken to Twitter to trend messages (often worldwide) every single day for the past several months, they have organized mass emails to Globo, and developed video compilations with heartfelt statements from all around the world about the positive impact of this story all in hopes that this giant among the networks will display the relationship without prejudice.

They have heard us, but they haven’t listened yet. The continuous noise from fans has Globo’s attention and they have attempted to throw a proverbial bone now and then, yet what they have offered is not fully authentic and falls short of an accurate and honest portrayal of a same-sex partnership.

We believe that if prominent international media or organizations call out the inequality in messaging, then Globo will listen and change.


Monday, June 30, 2014

I agree with you, I disagree with me too

Hello there. This post is a little... different. It started out when an awesome someone nicknamed 'Stitch', totally disagreed with a post I made on the forum about the scene where Marina dismissed Clara from her heart. My reply to them became rather long and also turned into an analysis of a scene, so I figured I might as well make it into a post on the blog. However, after writing 6 pages or so, I reread what I wrote and realized that the first part, my reply to them, would be so terribly confusing and weird to others that I started having doubts whether I should post it or not, if that was good stuff to read or just way too damn confusing and people would bail out, so I put it on hold for a good long time (nearly two months). I did let Stitch read it, which resulted in hilarious laughter from both of us.

It kept nagging at me though, cause the part that comes after, the actual scene analyzing, I still wanna let people read it, I feel it's kind of a waste of all the time I put into it and it's a really good scene, too, so I decided to post it anyway. The ending wasn't quite done yet, so that required some writing, something I have been aching to do anyway, since I've been so busy with other stuff. Also, ever since the girls got together, it seems there's less analyzing to do. At first it was great to dig into all the details about looks, touches, ways they behave, see what they feel, but now that they got together, we know what they feel, they know how they feel, they're gloriously happy, which left me a little inspirationless and a little lost. I guess the answer from now on lies in past scenes, or trying to do some character profiling like I did with the post about Vanessa. I have more thoughts about her, by the way. Maybe my next project, who knows.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Nothing stings and reasons still matter

AN: Some more bitching than usual. We get to the scene though, last night of course, the long awaited break up. So, lots of bitching, also lots of rambling, I might have managed to sound even more chaotic in this post than I sound in my head if that's even possible. Pondering if I should read this through first or if I should just slap some labels on it, hit 'Publish' and see what happens... Anyway, here we go:


So that was heavy stuff last night. First of all, let’s all raise a glass. The actual words have been spoken. The marriage is finally over. With all the stuff happening in the past weeks, it’s been rather enervating. first hearing about the time jump, skipping the first kiss, yeah, that left me furious. Then getting the confirmation that they’d kiss in the last week left me even more furious. How they could let this story not live up to its full potential, it still baffles me. If it’s up to me, we’re not done fighting. I felt cheated, discriminated, stabbed in the heart, robbed, gutted, I felt like taking to the streets with banners and having a protest at ‘het Binnenhof’, the government building of my country, conveniently located in my very own city of birth and residence. But they wouldn’t know what the hell my banners would mean. Flying over to Brazil would be an option, but I have no money to do that, so actually, not an option at all. I chose to dive into the project I had been working on since mid-may. Get the AE article published. Get them to focus on specific things. Get it published in time, so we can still make a change.

It’s also the reason I haven’t been able to write much for this blog lately, cause I spent nights awake writing emails, talking to people, making plans, utilizing hands and feet trying to communicate with my fellow bloggers and facebookers who only spoke Portuguese. This was both difficult and hilarious at times. It’s funny how Google translate can sometimes give you a better translation than a human translator could, yet how on other occasions it just derails the conversation in ways you think you can’t ever possibly recover from. But we did it. A bit later than I had hoped, but we did it. An elephant jumped off of my shoulder when it finally went live. When I took a good look at this elephant, I think it even winked at me and then I saw it carried his whole family on his back and I had been happily carrying them around. That’s how it felt anyway. I think I slept for 23 hours straight.

Monday, June 09, 2014

Globo makes history, the taboo is broken! <--- Put your money where your mouth is, Globo! I am calling you out!

Versão Portuguesa

Well what an interesting afternoon this has been!

Suddenly the news reaches our ears that Maneco, the writer of Em Familia who has unfortunately quit the writing team recently due to health reasons, was the one responsible for not airing the kiss. Yes! Surprising to all, I couldn't believe it either! The network was never against it in the first place. Especially because the taboo was already broken!


English Translation:

Clara and Marina: Romance without a kiss is Manoel Carlos' decision

The way Clara and Marina's romance has been conducted in Em Familia, without kisses, was a decision made by the novela's author, Manoel Carlos. Sources from the production say there wasn't any opposite determination from Globo's management regarding that. Even so because the taboo has been broken.

Well this is amazing news! This is fantastic! No taboo, nothing to break, all those surveys done for nothing! But more importantly, if there is no taboo on a kiss between two women, there is certainly no reason at all not to show them like they have shown all the heterosexual couples up to this point!

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

A Paradox in a candy store

Hi guys! This is a follow up to the ‘Hidden between the lines’ post I made, in which I take a closer look at the talk that Clara had with Marina, where she said she couldn’t leave Cadu. The scene I’m going into now is the one where Clara visits Juliana and they have an interesting conversation. It’s one of the best conversations so far to this day, even as I am writing this little author’s note which is on the day I'm posting. Something completely random first, even though Marina is not even in the scene, I added a screenshot near the end of this post that she's in, just cause I simply could not leave this post Marina-less. But like I said, it has nothing to do with the recap itself, even though Marina is of course the source of Clara's issues. Let's get to what actually matters which is that this scene is a defining moment in Clara’s journey of self-acceptance. I think it’s amazing. Let’s get to it, shall we?

The conversation starts on a light note, Clara has presumably just found out about Juliana’s epic love child and this is the first time she’s had the chance to talk to her about it. She offers her a hearty hug.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

A Message to Globo

Versão em Português

Dear Globo,

Let me start by telling you how much I appreciate that you have given me and many others with me, the wonderful story of Clara and Marina, two women who fall in love in such a way that we couldn’t help but fall in love with them. It has swept us off our feet, spun our heads around, it made us giggle, swoon, cry, laugh and love. We felt their shivers, the butterflies, we saw the stolen looks, felt their hands intertwine, held our breath without knowing. They couldn’t look away when they first saw each other, but we couldn’t either. So for this, for giving us this, you have my thanks.

But, something has me a little worried. I don’t want to be worried, not about Clara and Marina, but I am. I am worried that I will be let down by my own optimistic belief that everything will be alright. Because my belief is, that they will be together soon, that they will be shown as a couple like any other you have on the show. A couple that has public displays of affection, shares a kiss every now and then, that can’t help themselves as they passionately make their way into the bedroom while they can’t keep their hands off of each other. I believe this. I want to believe this. Because how could you not, right? They are so amazing, they have me so captivated, how could you not? I can hardly imagine, that anyone would actually not do that.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

If you were Clara, you'd be yelling back too

Couple of days ago we saw a little argument between Clara and Cadu. They were having a talk about Veronica when Clara mentioned talking to Marina about it. He's not happy with it and they get into an argument. She knows why he's concerned. She understands perfectly well. You can see it in her eyes for a very tiny moment, when she leans back slightly, before she says it's a public place. But she still gets very defensive, she's my friend, are you kidding me? She's not playing. She believes it. At first I thought, Clara, you know he's right, you're being a little too nonchalant, you're totally in love with her, he's right to be concerned, you're defending a little bit too hard. Tiny bit on the hypocritical side. But some reviewing and a few episodes later, I changed my mind. She's genuine. She knows why he's not happy with it, she even understands it. But she also feels she's in the right. She believes what she's arguing for. Let's take a walk right through it.

He goes ‘yeh right’ mode, which in his point of view, I can understand. He knows there is something going on. She gets defensive when Marina is being attacked, cause sure, she may be guilty of loving her, but she didn’t do anything, so she's not guilty of cheating. She says she's being sincere, there is no problem with Marina being there, because she's resisting. She's telling the truth when she's defending Marina being there, she's not planning on doing anything. She can't be blamed for something she didn't do. She should be praised even, for NOT doing anything, because fighting the urge is getting harder and harder. She knows there is a problem, she even told him last week, but she’s not guilty. That’s why she gets so defensive, because she’s using all the willpower she possibly has to do the right thing, but that is her intention. She's arguing her case with passion, she totally believes in it.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Vanessinha, she wasn't looking at you, she was looking at Clara

All Things Clarina New Twitter!

So what’s up with Vanessa these days? That’s what I’ve been asking myself anyhow, cause she’s… different. She used to come back with witty remarks that hit the spot, usually was the voice of raw and brutal honesty that told the things that nobody wanted to say. I liked Vanessa, but as she got more and more bitter, acted weird, did sneaky things, I suddenly realized somewhere last week, that I didn’t know if I liked her anymore. It bugged me. I wanted to like her but I didn’t like what she was doing. I also couldn’t figure out the path that the show had in mind for her. I had some questions.

Earlier this week, on Monday, Marina and Vanessa had a fall out, then they made up again, Marina couldn’t buy a book, Vanessa and Marina talked, they hugged, Vanessa remembered a beach with Marina, after which Marina dove in the pool cause she was scared she would end up sleeping under a bridge.

As always, people were wonderfully divided about Vanessa. She’s being a bitch to Clara, some say she is just jealous and should lay off, others say they understand. Some people say Vanessa is right to talk to Marina about the money, others say she’s doing it cause she’s jealous. Some say Marina is too harsh, others say Vanessa needed to hear it.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A tiny Clara Dear in the Headlights

Tiny note on Clara’s talk with her mom. I just realized I wrote 'tiny' when I started writing, now that I am done and adding this line, it turns out 'tiny' for me is 'only' three pages. Good to know.

I think this has been the most important Clarina episode to date. By a mile. I’m not going to dissect every emotion and sentence in detail this time, so this is not my usual huge elaborate and detailed scene analysis, I'm hoping to get to that as well, but first I want to focus on something else.

Many people are saying Clara has been leading Marina on. I don’t think she has. I do think she is underestimating what Marina has gone through, but I’ll get back to later. First things first, let me quote a few things that Clara told her mom tonight.

‘It’s difficult to Cadu, to Marina it isn’t.’
‘Marina has never asked me to leave my husband. Abandon my son. She loves him.'

Right before that, Chica asked Clara if this maybe could have happened because she and Cadu were in a crisis, then that girl showed up, helped her, sheltered her, showed her a different path.

Clara is trying to show her mother that Marina is not taking advantage of a situation. She’s not Clara’s escape from a crisis at home. Marina isn’t trying to steal her away from her husband. She’s not Clara’s escape, she’s Clara’s love. She emphasizes she never asked her to leave him. She wants her mom to see she's not being pressured, this is all her. These are her feelings, she’s not being played or manipulated into making a decision hastily that she might regret later.

Monday, May 12, 2014

One book called Clarina, two different editions

Here’s what happened last night. Marina is talking to Laerte about working there as a teacher. He’s usually creepy but surprisingly tolerable if he’s in the same shot as Marina, but still gonna skip it mostly except for saying Marina’s wonderful and charming and makes sure to eye Clara for a bit when she brings them special cappuccino. After he leaves, Clara sits down with her and starts the flirty comments right away when she says: ‘So, starting next week you’re going to be around here all the time, huh?’

She says it playfully, casually, big smile on her face and her head is turning sideways in that playful manner. She’s very happy at the prospect of seeing Marina there a lot. To me, it’s very interesting that she’s the one to start the flirting, she’s not letting Marina take the lead in that alone anymore, she initiates it herself as well. So when it comes to the flirting, she’s all comfortable and happy. She loves it. They are in a flirty place and it’s a place that by now feels like home. I’ll get back to that later.

Marina replies jokingly that since the ‘little miss’ isn’t showing up at the studio, she now managed to stay close so she won’t forget about her. Clara smiles kind of shyly at this. She loves hearing it, it makes her feel good, not only because it’s Marina saying it, the woman she loves, but also because it’s fun to hear someone wants to be around you. She’s so in love she can’t even hear Tânia Mara in the background.

Friday, May 09, 2014

Hidden between the lines: What Clara actually said to Marina

Right, last week, may 1st. It's Thursday. Usually a good Clarina day and oh they really delivered. We get a few scenes, first Cadu can't perform, then Clara tells Marina she can’t leave Cadu, Clara tells Ju how divided she is. I had actually started writing right after the episode aired, but it turned out to be way huge, was writing for hours and hours, saw parallels with other scenes and I wanted to make a whole big article out of it. The first scene alone turned out to be a massive block of text and I kind of had troubles seeing the end, underestimated the huge job that would be. Typed for hours all through the night and I was already sleep deprived from the night before so at some point I simply had to put it away and go to sleep. Unfinished, which I hate. My best stuff happens when I get into major ramble mode and I want to stay in that focus. Stepping away takes me out of it and I’m always afraid that I will forget all these things I still have to say, which is usually a lot. When I got back to it the next day, I couldn’t immediately get back into it. I had stuff to do, new scenes were also airing, new stuff happened, 10 pages written but had to take some distance from it. I didn’t look at it for a couple of days. I wanted to cover two more scenes in this article, well, two and a half maybe, but I realized it’s just going to be a *lot*. I kind of put it aside, trying to figure out if I was going to make it a very long thing, include all the scenes and the connections between them, but it felt like such a huge job still to do that I kind of put it away for a bit cause so much other stuff was happening and I was undecided. Much like Clara actually, the parallels are everywhere it seems.

Of course it kept nagging at me. It’s such wonderful stuff to write about and it bugged me that I had this written and it was now doing nothing but I didn’t quite know how to tackle it. Finally I just decided, screw this, it needs to be finished or Clara and Marina will have grandchildren by the time I finally post it and it won’t matter anymore but by that time, it’ll still be itching. Since the first scene alone is quite elaborate (‘quite’), this part will only cover the scene where Clara and Marina talk, the rest is still half written, half chaos and a touch of bullshit, which is how all my posts look before they become the flowing wave of rambled details and descriptions that somehow makes sense and end up on the blog. Well they make sense to me, anyway. So, that said, let’s finally get to the stuff you’re really here for.


There were so many wonderful scenes and I saw and felt so much raw emotions everywhere, so much double meaning all over the place, where on earth to begin? First we had Cadu passing out and Clara understandably freaking out about it. Then Clara told Marina she couldn’t leave Cadu. Then Ju and Clara had a heart to heart. Then we saw Clara remembering her talk with Marina.

Thursday, May 08, 2014

The Stare! Clara's guilt and Felipe was the trigger!

So this happened!

I’m watching this episode on the live stream, my forum is open, I’m armed with a chocolate bar and ready to exchange witty comments about the episodes with my girls there. We open where we left off, Cadu being very heartless at the moment.Complications happen, his heart rate goes down, blood pressure, something else, I’m not sure exactly, but things bleep and people get nervous and big eyed and it’s all supposed to be very scary and tense and terrifying.

We cut to the waiting room where we find almost the entire Em Familia family hanging on couches, lounging in chairs, staring into the distance, all anxiously awaiting news. Clara is talking on the phone to her son Ivan, I don’t speak Portuguese so I still have no idea what she said but I am assuming she is telling him comforting things and he should just go to bed and reassuring him that everything is going to be ok and he can talk to his father soon. Marina is seated next to Clara while she talks and near the end of the conversation, Chica sits down next to her daughter on the other side. After Clara hangs up, she is clearly worried and understandably so. About Cadu, but also how her son is dealing with it and I’m sure she wishes she could give him a hug right now. Her mother puts a comforting arm around her, Marina puts a hand on her shoulder. Clara immediately reacts to the hand, turns her head to look at Marina for a little bit of support while she reaches up with her own hand so she can hold hers and also, I can’t stop looking at the thumb rubbing they are doing. It’s so sweet and loving, she's so grateful she’s there with her. Love it.

She then shares a cute mother-daughter moment with Chica, resting their heads together, then she looks back to search for Marina’s eyes again and they share a totally sweet smile. Clara leans her chin on her own hand, the one that’s holding Marina’s and we all know it’s Marina’s hand she’s actually leaning on. Marina leans in to rest her own head against Clara’s shoulder as well and in my opinion that shot could have been longer, but alas, Felipe walks in so we cut to him, because he has important news. Everybody runs over and tells him to say something, but he’s one of those guys that makes lame jokes at inappropriate times and thinks he’s funny, so he put on his doomsday face, makes everybody yell at him to talk already and speak and for the love of whatever is holy to you, say something. After about 5 minutes he finally does. Cadu is alright, the surgery was a success.

Saturday, May 03, 2014

Inner turmoil and silent apologies in a hospital.

Marina arriving at the hospital. Wonderful scene! Awesome!

Clara’s torment, so worried about Cadu, so happy Marina was there, so appreciative of her support, then looking at Cadu, ‘I want to go to her. Can I do this? I need to. Is that appropriate?’ She's really battling that and more in her head at that moment and that gives us wonderful extra dimensions that make this horrible scary situation so much more conflicting.

We all have people in our lives that we need to get through difficult situations like these. If someone you love is dying and someone you care about shows up to support you, you don’t hesitate and ponder if this is appropriate. You just go to them to receive the support they are offering. She doesn’t rush over for the support. She fights a battle in her head first and that is very telling.

Two people she loves, one of them is dying and she’s worried sick. To get through that situation, she NEEDS the other.

The double meaning here is amazing. Cadu is the one she’s worried sick about, he’s also exactly the person who wouldn’t like it if Marina was there. Even though Cadu is the reason for her worries and the reason she would need support, he’s also the reason she wouldn’t go cause she knows he'd have a problem with Marina’s presence. Her love for him is the reason she would not seek Marina’s hug and support, her love for her is the reason she would. 

When Marina shows up and she sees Clara, she knows enough to wait outside the door. She knows she should wait there. She’s not here to upset Cadu, she’s not here to make him angry and the situation worse. She’s simply here for Clara. So she waits, quietly.

First Marina looks worried. She is looking at the woman she loves and at that moment it doesn’t matter that the one keeping her from being with Clara is on that bed. It doesn’t matter that he’s her husband and that she wishes he wasn’t. She doesn’t wish him any harm, she’s worried too. He matters to Clara so he matters to her. It doesn’t matter what the reason is that Clara is upset, all that matters, is that she is. She knows Clara needs her right now. That's all that matters.

Friday, May 02, 2014

Clarina endgame? Hell yes! Clara still affectionate with Cadu? And yes she loves Marina.

Before we get into this, this post isn't long enough yet ;) so first a quick little author's note including a tiny bit of spoiler talk about a scene from next week. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

Anyway, I got a tickle to write this article after the episode last night (April 30), started rambling happily and straight into the morning, then suddenly it was 9 am and I remembered I had to run off to an appointment at 9:30am, but I hadn't finished writing yet! Itching to get back to it though. Got back home at 11am, was going to write more and finish it, but a friend asked me for help on her thesis. She's not good at English so I offered to help her with that a while ago. This bit she had couldn't wait, she had to hand it in today, so I spent until 4 pm checking that. Still not finished the blog, still itching. Text was done at least, still had to clean it up a bit, but at 6pm I had to leave again, sporty stuff to do, the last week of this season, which means last practice, last game on sunday, so I wasn't gonna miss tonight. It was emotional, I'm kind of drained at the moment. But, this post is still not finished so I got right back to it. My points were mostly made, it was just cleaning up I had to do. Which is what I did just now.

Early this afternoon however, before practice, I see that a spoiler has been posted. Now while I think the spoiler itself is really promising, it says that Clara admits she loves Marina and that she loves Cadu and she thinks she's bisexual, loves them both equally. She also says she can't decide, she doesn't know how, maybe because she hasn't been with Marina yet, so she doesn't know what it's like.
Well, what do you know, I just spent six hours rambling about exactly that, about her having no comparison, she doesn't know what she is missing, which is why she can't choose. Also trying to convince certain people who don't believe that she indeed loves Marina. Because if she did, she wouldn't be all couply with Cadu, right? No, wrong, is my opinion, Which is why this post was trying to explain why she does love her and why it does make sense for Clara to still be affectionate with him. And then that spoiler comes out.

Well crap.

I wish I'd finished this before it came out, cause this post after that bit of info might seem to some, like: 'Yeah dude, everything you said was on that page as well and they said it in only 3 lines'. Humm, yeah, true. But I don't do 3 lines, I do 3 pages. At least. Yes this is long, I lied in the beginning and I'm not sorry. :P It's also not at all my point.

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The Bedroom Scene - A Masterpiece

The scene in the bedroom was one of the most wonderful scenes I've had the pleasure to witness. It contained such a big pile of emotion, in words, faces, tone of voice, body language, I was in love with this picture on the web today and the scene didn’t let me down. It delivered with a vengeance.

We start of course, with Clara walking into Marina’s house with in the back of her mind the fact that she slept with Cadu. Still have to dive into that scene, so for now gonna let that rest when it comes to how she felt about that. I need to get into this one first and it needs to be now. :P

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Clarina Recap 2, Em Familia, 14 feb

We start our episode at Marina's large house overseeing a pool. This is a lady whose family has a lot of money, I'd say she’s not doing so bad for herself. We see her in bed flanked by Vanessa on one side and a doctor on the other. I think I just realized why people become doctors if this is the kind of house call you get to make.

It's the morning after Marina fainted at her party, the doctor tells the ladies that it’s all about stress and how many people suffer from it these days. I think it’s a rather accurate diagnosis. I think meeting the love of your life and falling head over heels in love with her and then finding out she’s married can indeed cause a lot of stress. Good doctor, this one. Vanessa also has an opinion and asks with a look that says she already knows the answer if this could possibly be related to not eating much and too much alcohol. Yeah, that could also be it. Perceptive doctor and perceptive friend. Seems Marina is in good hands.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Clarina is teaching Brazil to accept gay story lines in the best subtle way possible

We had a discussion on the forum regarding the show and how the conversations in it are actually cleverly hidden attempts to educate the people watching. To show the ones who are 'against' homosexuality that it's not a bad evil thing at all. Original post here. The following below is my reply to another member.

I think that is exactly it. You can almost compare all this to Sesame Street for grownups, as in, they teach kids about right and wrong, basic things in life.

The audience here already has a fixed idea on what right and wrong is, the difference is, that idea is based on previous times. Times have changed though, and right and wrong has changed. 200 years ago the idea of women voting and having any say in things was outrageous. It took a long hard battle to change that around, but over time, people changed their views and the younger generations grew up believing in the 'new and improved' version.

That's what's happening here too. The younger generation and the open minded people in the older generations now banded together to get this new idea in people's minds that homosexuality isn't evil. In fact it's been around for a very long time and it's very normal at that. Not only are they giving hints like this in the story itself, but also the actors, even the ones not directly involved in the story line, are giving their support outside of the soap. Not the characters giving support, but the actors, the ones with a voice cause people look up to them. For example the actress that plays Sylvia, she gave her support on Twitter. Even Reynaldo, the guy who's losing his wife in the show, he publicly supported the story line. That kind of stuff matters.

When it comes to hints in the show, Clara is scared she'll lose her son's custody cause Cadu threatened he'd fight for it. Even though by law that may or may not be possible, she doesn't know that and the thought alone naturally scares her. Even though Cadu and Clara are on sort of friendly terms at the moment, he's still knows that his wife is still very much in love with Marina and the problem itself isn't going anywhere. They want the audience to realize this so the nay-sayers see a Clarina reunion coming, instead of thinking 'but they were getting along!'

So he asks Nando about it. He can see the divorce coming, maybe it will, maybe it won't, but he can sense the problem still exists and he wants to cover his angles. It's an understandable thing to do in Cadu's case. he wants to know his options, I don't really blame him when you look at it from his perspective. In his view two women can't really be in love, but Nando is the Sesame Street wise man who tells him: 'It is possible, they can fall in love, this won't hurt the child, this is not a reason to take custody from a mother.' He just says it in different words. He's not just telling Cadu, he's telling everyone watching that this is not a horrible thing and it certainly isn't a reason to separate mother and son.

Same with the Giselle/Branca scene. Giselle makes sure to point out Marina is not a hunter, she's in love. And probably so is Clara. She also makes sure her mother knows that in her opinion this cannot be used as a weapon against Chica. It's wrong. Love can't be used as a weapon, it should never be used as a weapon, cause love isn't something you choose. it's something that happens to you.

Marina may have been portrayed as somewhat of a predator in the beginning, going all in, trying to get Clara. When they went to Angra she told Vanessa she was hoping for more to happen. More being sex. As the story progressed and Marina realized she wasn't just in love and Clara was the one, it stopped being about sex, it started being about wanting to be together. Her whole demeanor changed, she stopped ordering Clara around like 'you're coming for dinner' etc, instead of wanting Clara to spend time with her because Marina wanted it, she wanted Clara to spend time with her because Clara wanted it. She wasn't a conquest, she was an equal, someone she highly respected and genuinely wanted her to respect her back. So her whole attitude changed.

Scene at the beach with Helena, Helena asks how she and Cadu are doing. She says they are doing better. No funky grin, nothing. Just a slight smile. They were fighting before. They aren't fighting all the time now. They're doing better and she is happy about it. When Helena asks about Marina, they are doing better too, and a huge naughty smile appears. They were already doing good, there was no fighting. The better refers to the romantic aspect, that's doing better. They just shared a huge romantic and intimate kiss that got Clara's hormones to fire up.

Even though the conversation between them was about Cadu and Marina both, when Helena goes to get a drink, it's Marina that Clara is thinking about. It her she sends a wonderful loving text, has the cutest phone conversation with. At the same time they show Marina at home, waiting patiently for news, being totally ecstatic when she receives it, bouncing up and down in her bed when she sees it's a message from Clara. Every housewife remembers what it was like to be in love as a teenager, how they bounced up and down when their crush acknowledged them. They can see that Marina is totally in love, they can see Clara is totally in love too.

It's exactly like a lot of you have already said here, it's educating. Love between women is possible, it's happening. It's not an evil thing. It's not anything that can decide custody over a child, Cadu is being educated along with the audience. I suspect he will come to terms with this at one point. Will be a while, sure, but he will see it. He will see it's just the way it is and that he didn't lose his wife specifically to another woman, he will see he lost his wife cause she loved someone else more than him. The fact that it's a woman, doesn't matter. Him accepting this will be crucial. If Cadu can accept it, so should the audience.

Nando's conversation with him was crucial. Giselle's conversation the same. Branca represents the housewife, the one who still thinks this is a scandal, something to hold on to, something to use as a weapon. Giselle represents the voice of reason, not only telling her it's love, but also scolding her mother about how you can't use love as a weapon. The whole audience can see that Branca is one to stir up trouble, she uses stuff to her advantage. Her 'ways' are evil and the audience is being given a message that using this love as a weapon is evil too. it's not right. Giselle stands up for her friends, the people she cares about. She's not just standing up for Marina here, she's standing up for her new step-sister Clara, also for the woman her father has fallen in love with, Chica. She cares about them. It's a textbook example of 'the good and the bad guy'. Using Clara and Marina as a weapon, only the bad guy would do. That's the real scandal.

That's what the soap is slowly working towards. They show nothing but affection and happy faces when Clara and Marina are together. They show friendship but not passion, when Clara and Cadu are together. They want the audience to see the real relationships here and that it's ok to be divorced, as long as you can all respect each other still.

Helena represents the conservative housewife as well, don't leave your husband, how would he feel? Choose your family, forget yourself. She chose her family a long time ago, she married not for herself, but for other people. She had this idea that that was what she was supposed to do back then. She too will change her view, she will see that choosing to forget about your own happiness is silly. Choosing unhappiness, being a dutiful housewife, those ideas are in the past. She too will see, 'Clara should choose happiness.' And with her, the housewife will relate.

I realize much of what I said has been said before, this is just me agreeing with it in my own words :) No matter what spoiler they throw at us, it's all part of the wonderful buildup not only towards 'Clarina', but towards making the audience see. There is no doubt in my mind and there hasn't been in a long time that this is what they are doing. Any spoiler that seems meh for us (Cadu and Clara have sex, Marina and Vanessa maybe sex, renewing vows, ring, whatever), it all a brilliant laid out plan to change the mind of a generation that was taught to disagree with this. They are being re-educated, they are being shown that it's ok to be gay, that as long as there is true love involved, you have to follow your heart. They are taught that the scandal isn't a lesbian relationship, the scandal is choosing an unhappy life.

That takes time. I am very happy the writers and the makers of the show saw the importance of that and decided to take all the time they needed, because they saw the huge relevance in this message and to its audience. It's truly groundbreaking and they deserve all the props.

We shouldn't boycott anything, we shouldn't give them negative feedback. We should praise them for doing this exactly the way we need them to.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Clarina Recap 1, Em Família 12 &13 feb

We open in a glamorous setting. As appropriate swoon-worthy music graces our ears we see a large room and many huge photographs on display, a stairwell in the middle leading up to yet more glamour in purple. We are at an exposition. I’m already loving the purple-blue glow this whole thing is shining at me, but as people start to applaud at something yet to be revealed to us, I know it’s about to get even better.

We see a woman at the top of the stairs. Dressed in white and silver, the glitters on her gown shine bright in the spotlight, yet seem to disappear in the shadows compared to the sensual beauty that radiates from the marvelous creature they surround. She descends the stairs slowly, people applaud even louder, she smiles and takes it all in as she reaches the bottom of the stairs and allows everybody to wonder where this woman has been all their life. Or maybe it’s just me wondering if I’m not actually dreaming, since I find it impossible for anyone to look this gorgeous and wonderful and have this sensuality and grace without trying. Nobody like this exists, so I must be dreaming. But I am not dreaming, I just met Marina.

Clara/Marina/Vanessa, let's take a closer look.

So there was some talk about a possible spoiler of Vanessa and Marina waking up intimately one morning, possibly implying sex. Here's my thoughts on that:

First of all, I’d like to say that I don’t mind at all if Clara gets a little reason to be jealous. Up till now Marina has been very clear that Clara is all she thinks about. I’m here, I’m waiting, don’t forget me, etc. Everything she told Clara has been nothing but ‘You’re all I think about, there is no one else.’ I believe this to be very true, I also think Clara believes this to be very true.

Even though Clara wants to be with Marina, I think this may have given her a bit of ‘extra’ time in her head, regarding the situation at home, with Cadu. She doesn't want people to get hurt, she cares about Cadu, wants her son to not get in the middle, doesn't want to lose custody, Marina has told her nothing but ‘take your time, I’ll be waiting’, Clara at this point has no urgency to solve it, other than her own desires. However, her own desires are the reason they are in this mess, so she feels that at this moment those own desires aren’t #1 priority. Her family comes first and what she wants has to be put on the backburner. Marina will be there.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Clara & Marina, why they can make a difference. Please read this. The message matters and they deserve it. We all do.

Please reblog, retweet, repost, retumblr, anywhere you can, if this matters to you too.

The girls at Clarina Portugal have created a video for the campaign ClarinaAmorSemCensura. It tells us and everyone else why a wonderful story like this deserves to be viewed as any other romantic story ever shown on television. Not only is this a beautiful tale of love, it's the story of two women who have come a long way since they fell madly and hopelessly in love at first sight, rediscovered themselves through each other, still fight to be together and have some ways to go. But, I have absolute faith that they will get there, they will find each other. Their feelings literally scream at me from my screen and there is no denying that this is true love we're talking about.

As it happens, I think a story of true love should not be censored just because the same-sex pairing isn't right according to some. According to a whole lot of others, this pairing is fine. More than fine. Just like any other love story, this one needs to be told in all its wonderful glory. Why? Because this one is special. It's raw, it's real, I believe it, it takes me along for the ride in all the ways I want it to.

So on top of the video, I am going to explain to you why exactly this story matters so much to me and to others and I will do that in all the magnificent details I can manage to find, which believe me, is a lot. So sit back and I hope you will let me take you along and make you see it, I hope I can make you feel why these gorgeous ladies deserve to have their story shared with us, without anyone holding back for reasons most of us stopped understanding a long time ago.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Analyzing The Almost Kiss

Original Post

First of all, I would like to mention the color of Clara’s shirt, or rather, colors. They have all the colors of the rainbow, which I find a nice touch, very subtle if intended. If not intended, then I guess it’s karma or something.

That said, my take on the whole thing. I thought it was really sweet, the whole time Clara was talking to Marina when she came into the studio again, she had the cutest smile on her face, the one someone has when they are in a new relationship and totally cute about it. She didn't even care about Vanessa's comment, all she cared about was Marina and the message she needed to tell her but everything in her body language told Marina that she wanted her, she wanted her to trust her, to trust her that she was going to choose her, but she needed to take another road for now. For her son, he's so young, he needs her and it's the one thing she can't afford to screw up. She is also comfortable enough with this situation, not to mention comfortable with herself and her own feelings, to make an insinuating comment about sleeping over and how awesome that would be, yet it is unfortunately not a luxury nor a pleasure she can allow herself to enjoy for the moment.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Marina and Vanessa dynamic

After Vanessa's declaration to Marina that their love is eternal, someone said this:

sorry but I have to say this, Marina's behavior with Vanessa makes my blood boil more than ever, when she is with Clara she's pretend that there is nothing between them as only friendship but when Clara disappears for some time, Marina welcome Vanessa with open arms and that's why I can't blame Vanessa for her behavior with Clara if there's someone to blame it's only Marina, she should decisively tell Vanessa that they will never get back together and they don't have common future but what Marina doing? when Vanessa talk about them she only smiles and feeds Vanessa's hopes.

Another person replied with the following:

I don't think Marina feeds it. She doesn't need to say it every time she doesn't want Vanessa. If she wanted, she'd be with her, she's no6 feeding it. The way I see it, she doesn't want to hurt Vanessa's feelings, but they both know Marina doesn't feel that way about her. Vanessa hopes she will again though. And right now, Marina hopes that maybe she can get over Clara, because it's getting painful for her.

My reply:

I agree. If someone loves you and you don't feel the same way back (anymore), when your heart completely and totally belongs to someone else, you don't have to remind them every day that it's not going to happen. It hurts them and you don't want to hurt them all the time. Marina has made very clear to Vanessa that she is totally in love with Clara and that Clara is the one for her, that she's never been in love like this. Vanessa is understandably hurt by this but it's just the way things go sometimes. Vanessa has not made a whole lot of moves towards Marina, she's actually been a really good friend.

She's still a woman in love, this is a desperate attempt to see if there is anything left for her to cling to, if she and Marina are ever going to be lovers again. I can't really blame her for being in love and fighting for her love. She will eventually have to back off and she will. It'll hurt her, but she will. Marina's response was empty, when Vanessa caressed her chin, Marina even looked uncomfortable. She hasn't given Vanessa any indication that they are going to be back to what they were, Marina was just very hurt to not be able to see Clara for a bit, doesn't mean she's open to being with Vanessa now. Her heart still belongs to Clara and she's not even entertaining the idea at this point of anything else with Vanessa. Vanessa just had to give it one more try, something she hasn't done openly in a long time.

In my opinion, Marina's not hoping she can get over Clara. She's hoping she'll see her again soon cause waiting hurts.


Clara realizes this is what all the fuss was about

A thought or two about the scene where Helena tells Clara they are in love.

Clara is explaining to Helena about the electricity in the air, the charged atmosphere, 'if you touch any of us, you get a shock'.

Helena replies with 'the shivers down my spine' comment. Clara is all, yes, yes, that, ever had that? To her this feeling is new, different. She has no idea what it is, asks Helena about it cause it's so new to her.

Helena says she did and knows it means you're totally in love with someone. Clara explains it all as though this is the first time she's ever felt that before, which means, she never loved Cadu the way she loves Marina now, she never truly desired him when you take the word in its strongest and most powerful meaning. Just in her mind, since women weren't even a thought she ever entertained, whatever she felt for him must have been 'good enough'. She felt attraction to him, affection, he's handsome, a good father, she thought that was what it was supposed to feel like. She never had the feelings she has now.

What I mean is, she's realizing now that this is 'what all the fuss is about'. Being in love is supposed to be like this, she got it all wrong with Cadu. She thought that was as good as it gets and now she sees that it's not, it can be so much better. What she's feeling now is a new thing, she's never felt love and desire in all its glory before, she sees that she's been missing out all this time.

That's why it's all so overwhelming. She's caught so off guard by these feelings she literally doesn't know how to deal with them and what it means.